can u get pink eye on your cock?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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