she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
His nipple licking is glorious
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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