You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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