This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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