at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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