i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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