Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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