Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
