You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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