well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
