everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
