were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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