I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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