I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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