Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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