...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
