My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
