Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
