before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize