I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
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im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
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I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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