dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
