I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
