Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
