I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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