Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
