oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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