Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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