using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
