that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
