I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
