You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
