And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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