I CAN MOONWALK!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize