Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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