Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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