I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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