VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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