I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
