why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
