We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
