All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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