I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize