margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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