Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
