You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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