Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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