I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
