I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
