I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
