Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
