i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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