New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How does one acquire holy water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize