i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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