I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
