there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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