the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
